Saturday, August 26, 2006
` 12:28 AM
Gone with the wind
Morning star so long!
http://vemhook_20.livejournal.com/
Friday, August 25, 2006
` 3:52 AM
*Suspense*
Not feeling any better thank you so much
Had class bbq yesterday
day sucked big time
got myself in a fucking scewed state.
Too late to regret anyway.
Work was slack...
Drank quite a lil....
Siti got drunk -_-
That silly girl.
I came to conclusion that.....
These problems are mine
And I have to thank those people who's by side
but
no thanks
Problems are mine and I will settle them myself.
Even if it can't be settled, I'll face it myself
End of story
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
` 2:16 AM
*Screwed*
Everything's jsut going wrong.
But I'm not going to give a damn anymore...
Well...
Though I know subconsciously distractions are getting into me....
I have been stuffing food down my throat since yesterday...
Cause I have no appetite...
Whatever it is....
To someone.. thanks for being there for me..
Thanks for the conversation...
You talked some sense into me
And I really appreciate it....
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
` 1:21 PM
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth."
It's hard for me to face you anymore
` 1:05 AM
*pouts*
Thank you to those who gives a fuck damn about me.
Thank you to "them" who isn't there when I needed "them" the most.
Thank you for making me miss these people.
Thank you for picking me up from the roadside and throwing me back out to the roads when they've finishes using me.
Thank you for fucking me up...
I'm sorry to those whom I've made them worried sick about me.
I'm sorry I've neglected their feelings.
I'm sorry I forgot you people do care for me.
I'm sorry Ive changed..
I'm sorry but just leave me alone.
I'm sorry but let me go...
Monday, August 21, 2006
` 9:43 PM
*Crazy*
That I conclude that I am...
I must be out of my mind....
Really
I swear to God.
I know I will regret
It's just a matter of time I will feel it.
Haiya
Just fuck it..
It's made history.
Whatever it is,
I have been feeling shitty the whole fucking day.
Things I want, I don't get them
Things I don't want, come to me naturally.
Things I want in the past and not presently, came in time
There's just too much suspense
I'm going crazy..
I need to break free.
Need some fresh air.
I just got myself so screwed up that
I'm mocking at myself.
I hope I'm not getting into any trouble.
If I do, I'm fucked ... Big time...
Whatever whatever whatever...
I need ...... right now.
It is definitely the only antidote i feel.
Actually...
It wont be much of a real help
UGh
Just fuck it
I'm out man...
Sunday, August 20, 2006
` 5:55 PM
*I'm sick!*
Yay!
Yesh I am..
On my birthday...
I'm sick on my bithday..
Birthday present from God..---
A sexy voice...
For the longest time..
I broke a record of5 days of sexy voice...
Had my birthday chalet...
It didn't turn out as bad as I have expected it would be...
To those who turned up and who stayed over, you guys made it happen and all of you rawked!
Thanks to all for coming down..
Thanks for the presents
Thanks to those who stayed over and spent sleepless nights together
Thank you to some of you who gave me a trademark and couldn't stop making fun of me..
"Ga ni na!" haha well.
at least I say Ka ni na now...
=P
Thanks for the laughter..
For the camera whoring.
For the Chefs last night.
To Marco, thanks for throwing a bucket of water on me...
To those who were left in the room making me drink water last night.
Thank you for the company to the beach to chill
Thanks for the advices and conversation..
Thanks for the motivation...
Special thankew to someone for believing in me and taking this road with me all this while..
And finally....
Thanks for all the messages through sms.
I didn't reply cause there was far too many coming in and I did read but I just don't have the fingers to type a reply for all...
Well..Had training yesterday.
Cabbed down with those who stayed over for the first night.
I was just trying to figure out my swings the whole time during trng.
Bowled a 118 178 and169...
pretty satisfied for the last two games..
Pretty much only... not really totally satisfied =P
Bowled the afternoon before and the morning before training.
morning meaning.... 1 to 2 plus in the morning. =P
hit my high score of 198 in the arternoon. =P
Happy happy.
'Oh well.....
I'm damn tired
should go napping now..
Till later!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
` 11:16 PM
*it's hard to do*
I'm really sorry that
I've been gone for awhile.
I haven't been knowing
what I want.
And though I still don't
at least I'm getting a clearer view.
I'm not sure if
it's the right thing I'm doing now
Because I'm not feeling it
but I'm going to face up to reality.
I want it but
at the same time
I don't
I know it's not fair that
I'm being selfish
But..
I guess I'm just being self protective...
I'm just too afraid to open up again
I guess I just want to be alone...
So I'm hoping for my wish to be granted...
scarsarealloverandafewmoremakesnodifference
` 2:15 PM
*Sick*
I don't even have to decide if I want or not to go to school
I couldn't...
I washed up
Went back to the room.
I felt like a half dead person
A weak zombie...
Felt like the time I suffered from pneumonia all over again.
but this time I'm not going to bother.
I'm running a fever cough flu and whatevernots but I'm still going to continue with my daily plans.
Told my maid not to disturb me so I went back to sleep.
Woke up like 2 hours ago still feeling too weak to climb out of bed
I actually forced myself out of bed...
Eyes just puffier than ever man
I sware I woke up looking at myself at the mirror saying the OMFG word..
Seriously no appetite=\
Hopefully I'll be feeling better man
I want to go bowling
But I know I will only make myself feel worst by bowling badly with my condition today.
I guess I'll leave it to tomorrow be it if theres training for me or not..
I'm sooooo soooo soooooooooo tired
mentally & physically I don't even have time for wanting to do anything else anymore...
Whatever it is.
I'm still going to look forward to the rest of my day hoping it will be a better one...
=]
Staying optimistic and going strong =]
I'll shake things off and pretend it's all okay
` 12:27 AM
*Irritating*
I hate organising stuff like this...
Birthdays are seriously no big deals to me..
I don't even know why in the first place I agree to my dad's suggestion of having a chalet.
fuck it.
I just feel like cancelling the whole damn fucking shit plan.
Training was....
not too bad... =]
had friendly games..
Went pretty well...
Could be better if everyone trained more together.. =]
My shots went pretty well too..
Had more confidence and all eventhough my wrist is injured.
MAry tapped it up like as if i was a mummy....
=P
I'm thinking if I want to go to school tomorrow man
=I don't feel like it.
Fuck it...
This is bad...
I don't have the peseverance for anyhting except when it comes to the sports I do...
I'm getting irritated and impatient with the way one person works.
Draggy and indecisive.
I hate stuff like that.
I just hate people to keep others in suspense.
not once but twice or thrice already.
Getting on my nerves.
So inefficient...
I guess... Out of that..... 5, I'm neither gonna chose any single one too
Just fuck everything and lead my happy life
Bowling and sports science is my life and no one can intrude this perception of mine....
=]
got to go...
tired
till later/...